I know you all want to see pictures of Siena and here about how she is doing and stuff, but I need to get some things off my chest...For anyone who is pregnant or has been pregnant recently you can probably relate. I thought I was starting to lose my mind when I was pregnant because I was forgetting things on occasion...conversations or to pay a bill. It never really effected my work, but now that the momnesia has set in it is a whole different story.
I make lists and use tricks to help me remember to do things like associate colors with tasks. I think I am pretty detail oriented and I have a darn good memory, but lately it sucks! I have no focus at work and I swear I have done things only to find out I haven't (and by the time I realize what I missed its usually too late to fix the problem). When I am at work I am thinking about work then all of a sudden my milk will let down and the brain goes straight to my little sunshine Siena. In my typical day I have to balance pumping enough milk at work to keep her fed and complete my job responsibilities all while feeling incredibly guilty for not being with her and sad because I know I am missing so much. And on top of that I have to drop Siena off and pick her up in Elgin, keep my house relatively clean and make dinner(Matt does help with the cleaning and cooking). I feel like there are never enough hours in a day to get everything done. Does it get any easier? Will my mind ever be what it once was? Someone please give me hope.
~Jess
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You are not alone. That's just all part of being a Mommy. You'll adjust! You are not crazy girl, you're just a mom. Sit back and enjoy the ride.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing an amazing job! I admire how you are learning to balance work and Mom-hood, friendships, and your relationship. Everything in the world gets easier with time and maybe you are learning not to sweat the small stuff.
ReplyDeleteOf course I have no experience with the Mamacita part but I can see how your little girl gazes at you and lights up when she hears your voice! That child knows you instinctively no matter who else takes care of her during the day. You are sacrificing now for later, to provide for her and I think that deserves a pat on the back. ;)
Well said Jen and Juju! Us new moms need friends like you guys so stick around ok? Jess I think our brains will likely never be the same-how could they really when we have now been given the most amazing gift of being Mom's? We can't help but put these little sweet peas at the forefront of our thoughts. But hopefully our ability to complete sentences and tasks alike will eventually improve. For our sanity and jobs' sake, I sure hope so!!
ReplyDeleteHey Jess, I found your blog through Marys...your little Siena is beautiful!!! I felt as if I was reading my own thoughts just now...I have to confess that it doesn't get any easier, until they can start helping you out a little (potty training, feeding themselves, etc) and then you just have a new set of struggles, sassiness, definace, i could go on and on...you just learn how to cope/juggle/manage a little better :) but it is all worth it!!! pumping at work is hard isn't it!??!?! tell matt hello for me!
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